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What the Hell Happened? Why Guys Disappear Into Thin Air

What the Hell Happened? Why Guys Disappear Into Thin Air


What the hell happened? That's the first question you ask yourself the second you realize you've been ghosted. For those who don't know, "ghosting" is a technique used by those who break off a relationship by simply disappearing without a trace. Some also call it the "fade to black". It's a cowardly way out and leaves the other person feeling completely confused. From the ghosters perspective, it's an easy way to avoid an awkward interaction and you don't have to experience the hurt feelings of the ghostee.

I myself have been ghosted a few times, and I have to admit that I've also ghosted some of the men I've dated. I know, I'm an asshole, but to be fair, I've only ever ghosted a guy after the first date, not after six. Which is what I recently experienced.

He was tall, very handsome, had a good job, and he was incredibly sweet. I've been burned before, so I followed his lead on everything--from hand-holding to kissing to making plans for the next date. I last saw him on a Sunday night and we had plans to see each other the following Tuesday (a date which he suggested). We texted for a bit on Monday night and when Tuesday rolled around, I waited for him to text me about our plans that night. It got to about 6:30pm, so I decided to text him. Nothing. Then, 8:00pm rolled around, so I texted again: Are we still meeting up tonight? Nothing. Zip. Nada. Complete silence.

So, what the hell happened? I have no idea and I probably never will. Even a lame excuse or lie like "I have to work late" or "I'm not feeling well" would've been better than NOTHING. At least I'd know he was still alive!

I keep replaying everything in my mind trying to figure out if there were any signs, any clues as to what possibly could've happened. I can't think of any. It seemed to me like things were going great. I feel completely blindsided.

The only thing I can think of is that I felt like it was too good to be true. It felt too easy and too stress-free compared to my other dating experiences. But when I told friends about that, they all told me that that's how it's supposed to be and to just enjoy it. So I did. I enjoyed it all the way up until that Tuesday night when I had half of my makeup done and realized I had been ghosted. (At least I hadn't wasted my good eyeliner yet?)

As I do with pretty much everything, I googled and asked my friends for advice. Basically, the only answer is a very unsatisfying one--it could have been any number of things that happened. Maybe it was moving too fast? Maybe his ex came back into the picture? Maybe he got fired? Maybe his phone broke? It could literally be anything. But the part that bugs the crap out of me is that I'll most likely never know what it was. Wouldn't it be nice if we were all just honest with each other?

Here's a video that gives some insight as to why guys disappear. Watch it and let's all make a pact to stop ghosting each other. Agreed?


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